I'm not saying steroids are bad, I'm not saying they're good. Well the GAINS and PUMPS are flipping unreal... you're stronger and you look crazier! All those things felt pretty flippin good. Oh shit I probably shouldn't have said that but... guess what, I can! Because this is my blog, Boom! Any who... I'm making a choice, for myself, by myself. I will compete at Nationals without using gear. (Gear is slang in the Meathead world for steroids.) This is going to be hard!
I've thought about this over and over again. Worrying that I'm not going to look good, that I'm not going to get super lean, maybe I'm sending a bad message, just give up, it's not healthy for your body, it's hard. But I can't live without trying my best.
If you've ever trained with me, you can feel my drive and intensity. I might not be the best, but I am going to give my all. I felt that at BCs I didn't give my best. I owned my routine, because I'm fabulous.
I didn't commit myself to the goal. I don't believe I can leave body building without knowing I gave it my best effort.
BIG JILL in the house. I definitely was a mass monster at BCs. I outweighed the other ladies by at least 30lbs. A lot of people told me I should go into Women’s Body Building, but that’s not how I see my physique, I just took too much juice (also another slang term for steroids…this is just for you muggles/gainless folk that are new to this vocabulary.) And by too much, I never sat in my house pinning (injecting) myself with excessive amounts of performance enhancers. In the photos above I was using Winstrol, Clenbuterol. I had used Primobolan a few months prior as well. I was also eating too much pizza, attempting to learn how to play lacrosse (not too brag but I did score a goal in my first game!), training (killed my training!!!), barely sleeping and doing minimal cardio. I took on too much at once.
Now it’s time to FOCUS on one thing at a time. If you really want to excel, put all your focus into mastering one craft.
So here we go…. Compete at Nationals!
Step 1: Find a Coach. I did that. Jen Jewells!
Step 2: Email her my progress pictures! I should have done weeks ago.
But in all fairness I had finally made up my mind about 4 hrs ago (I'll post them on my blog tomorrow.)
Love Me or Hate Me
This is just my story and I'm the one holding the pen... (My keyboard). You get what I mean.
Everyday leading up to the show I'm going to share my struggles, my memories, my food, my workouts, my progress, my thoughts... all my weird thoughts.
Let the journey begin.